Teleshopping and TV Commercials

April 3, 2011

Watching TV with me is a pain. I can never watch a programme for more than 30 seconds. I switch channels so much and so fast that we have changed our remote control umpteen times. From what you might have fathomed by now, I have an innate love for mokkais. I love watching Teleshopping. It fascinates me. I love commercials. It’s sacrilege to mute them! So I thought, why not write a point-by-point walk through of “TV with Lady Kedi” for the benefit of the human kind.

I have two things to enlighten you on: one, the incredible world of Teleshopping. I say incredible because it promises to make your life incredible. We will run through all it has got to offer. Two, the utopian world of commercials. Everything is perfect here. So perfect that it makes you envy, empathize and sigh wistfully only to realize that the world doesn’t function like how you thought it would.

Have you ever once paused on a channel when Teleshopping is going on? If yes, you would know about the Sampurna Nazar Suraksha Kavach. It’s a small blue bead strung like an amulet. The promo starts with a fat lady with a big bindi and bright saree, unsurprisingly over jeweled, exhorting in loud voices the miracles of the suraksha kavach. The camera pans to a witness, who claims her husband’s business was flailing when someone suggested that she make him wear an amulet. The gay amulet wearing husband then exacts that his business looked up the moment he started wearing the kavach. The highlight of the visual is the representation of the nazar – red laser rays not different from what we used to draw in school. Here is what I mean:

 

The host then goes on about how Yogis from the Himalayas prepare these beads by chanting arcane mantras. What price to pay for it? Just Rs. 2375/-. Interested people please to be seeing this and this.

Others see this to fully understand what I mean. I could not get the badly dubbed Tamil video. Please make do with this.

If one teleshopping product awes me, it has to be the Nicer Dicer. It’s a vegetable cutter that makes vegetable cutting seem so easy! I can forever see how it goes chak chak chak. The commentary behind does get on your nerves with too many wow’s and oooh’s and aaah’s, but this is still a beauty. Please someone get me this for my birthday! It’s just Rs.1999/-.

Here is the English version of the video.

There is this other product they have to offer: the lipodress. This “dress” makes you look thinner however flabby you are by compressing to bring you to shape. I do not want to go into any more details here. If you are interested, do google Lipodress. Be sure no one is behind your back.

That is all I have to offer on teleshopping. My next love, commercials, is not altogether a different story. If teleshopping makes you believe that their product will make possible the impossible, the commercials too do the same. Only, they don’t make explicit claims. Take the Surya – Jothika Sunrise ad as an example. The whole concept has little to do with coffee than to showcase the pair’s fabulous chemistry on-screen. They play on the already created mentality that coffee and tea are associated with happy young couples very much in love. So every time we see such an ad, we go Aww. I love those for the same reason – modern micro fairy tales.

Another absurdity people lap up: the concept behind every deodorant commercial. A skinny adolescent with a waxed chest sprays on some deo, and what happens? He is surrounded by pouting girls in revealing clothes ready to er, succumb to his wishes. This phenomenon has now extended to hair gels, men’s shampoos, shaving creams, men’s razors…any of the male cosmetics available. Girls are not that dumb, you know. But I have to accept, we are dumb enough to see these commercials with our mouths wide open. Falling for a guy that shaves his arms and does his eyebrows is another story altogether.

I have never been able to distinguish one bike from the other. Cars too. I can differentiate a SUV and a car. That’s how far I can go. I know that Pulsar looks a little fatter than the rest. The rest consists of similar looking bikes which I can only identify by their name tags. It doesn’t make things easier for me when all these commercials are very similar too. All of them typically involve driving into a storm, on a mountainous terrain, jumping of cliffs and a small kid shouting daddy or a slender female looking on invitingly.

The last category of ads are the extremely stupid ones. So stupid that they make you laugh. Like the Bingo ads. If you have an affinity to mokka jokes like me, then you would thoroughly enjoy these. This one is classic, especially the Take it Raasaa at the end.

Before this post becomes excruciatingly boring, I will stop. Please comment and list the funny, crazy, whacky, senseless stuff you see on TV these days. Lady Kedi would love to spend all her time watching those.

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16 Responses to “Teleshopping and TV Commercials”

  1. Hari said

    Nice post 🙂
    liked everything about the ads , u going AWW …and those male cosmetic stuff , everything is good …
    Dhoni’s Orient PSPO ad , is the dumbest .

  2. Sathiish said

    nice one.. not all of the car commercials are bad.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr2uw79W_0c.. supposed to be the costliest commercial ever made.. Also those ads during the world cups.. excruciatingly painful..

    • ladykedi said

      That was classic. Certainly not all commercials are bad. The thing is, these mokka commercials never get appreciated and are seldom enjoyed, except by mokka people like me 😀

      • Sathiish said

        Jus that these ads make u feel that Indian people base their decisions upon how flashy a thing looks and how well known it’s rather than its worth and value.. they undermine our thought process to a large extent.. 😀

  3. ak said

    Akka! Neenda naal pulambalgal ellam veli varuvadhu pol irukkiradhu!

  4. Saravanan said

    Hey that nicer dicer is just Rs.200/- in my area!!!

  5. Choker said

    Post raaaaaacks! 😀 Here are some ads which I love!
    1.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX5XNmTzazA (Indica V2)
    2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eykTEORG6j4&feature=related (Godrej DVD player)
    3.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGsOgjAQuY8 (Pepsi SRK and Sachin Ad)
    4. And almost all Fevicol ads!!

  6. Krishna Kumar said

    hey in tat list of deo, hair gel and shaving creams u can also add SPICE mobile nw. its so stupid… but the oly thing tats so nice witout any star value s VODAFONE.. those guys re jus awesome….

  7. Athinthra said

    watch the ad for Reynolds permanent marker… sema funny

  8. Athinthra said

    ad for reynolds permenant marker goes like this… they first show a extremely backward village house where some death had taken place. then they show some people crying and sobbing in that house. It happened to be the death of a young man and some old ladies will be smashing the bangles and plucking the thaali of the wife of that dead man. At last those ladies will try to wipe off the bindi but they couldn’t. they will try try and try but that bhindi remains in her forehead. Immediately that dead man takes a huge breath and wakes up. Now flash back.. in that the man will draw bindhi shape in that women’s fore hrad with reynolds marker. then the ad ends with a note “Reynolds marker.. Really Permenant”

  9. ladykedi said

    @Choker Those are really good ads. Suggest something so mokka that its funny. They are all the more entertaining 😀

    @Krishna Kumar The zoo zoo’s are a rage. A very novel idea. As for the various mobile ads, nothing seems to be worth enough to keep in mind.

    @Athinthra. Ha! That’s a funny one!

  10. V THIagarajan said

    Nice post. Keep it posted on new topics. best wishes

  11. Sandhya said

    many advertisements have no relation watsoever to the product that they endorse.. till the end, u d be clueless!!! for example, a majority of insurance ads.. if u want specificity, do it urself.. after all, lady kedi seems to be vetti 😉

  12. Santhosh said

    Dear Ladykedi,
    If you have ever watched Bommie’s nighties ad, then you will get to know what the term “Extreme Mokkai” stands for..!!
    Devayani’s delivery of dialogues will be at the extreme of the extremest, and gathers a scope of an oscar..!!!
    You can make an entire post out of the concepts they use for the ad..:-D 😀

  13. Amaan said

    Guys…in order to enhace the online sale of one specific product, for example lets say a cosmetic, what module shall be more powerful and effective keeping the brand building and maximum sales in mind – Teleshopping ad film on air of 15 minutes OR 30 seconds of a unique TV ad commercial ?

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