Mr. Right = Mr. Impossible?

March 19, 2011

Now that a cousin has declared that he has taken up atheism and will not be specific about even the nationality of the girl he is going to marry, my Mom has come to believe that it is incumbent upon her to prevent me from doing the same. Of late, she grabs every opportunity to emphasize her stand, especially when I comment within her earshot that I find some guy cute.  A typical conversation goes like this:

En di, US laam pona edhavadhu vella kaarana love pannida maata la?

Pona pathukalam Ma.

Adhuku illa, avanoda culture laam namaku othu varadhu. Enna dhaan love pannalum Indian payanaa pathu love pannu!

Seri Ma.

Indian na kuda, non-veg illama pathuko. Aparam unaku dhaan kashtam. Naa solradha soliten.

Hmm seri.

Pinna Brahmin payan dhaan. Tamil payana irundha dhaan relatives oda laam nanna pazhaga mudiyum. Unakum Hindi laam dhaan onnum theriyadhe!

Seri!

Iyer na best di. Thatha paati laam onnum solla maata! Elders blessing romba important in life!

Hmm.

Mukyama, love panrathuku minadiya gothram ketudu di! Ore gothram na anna mari, theriyum la!

Yeah ok.

Apdiye vathima na romba sandhosham. Vadama kuda ok…aana…vathima va pathukoyen…

Whew, seri.

Payan poorvigam very important! Kumbakonam, Thanjavur elaam romba aacharam di.

Neeye payana pathuden Ma, pesaama.

Naan dhaan paaka poren! Aanalum love pana pora nu vechukoyen, idhelaam just consider.

So much for giving me the choice and the freedom to love someone!

As an extrapolation, here is a flowchart of how I should go about (or how my Mom will go about) choosing a groom for me.

No surprise if I die a spinster, eh?

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15 Responses to “Mr. Right = Mr. Impossible?”

  1. aravind said

    ROFL chancey illa flowsheet 🙂 Process flowsheet la kooda evlo akkara kaatinadhu illa nee

  2. Irai Arul Petravan said

    How complicated is your flow-sheet for selecting a guy? 😀 Guy—> Gay?—yes–> Be friends
    ‘—no–> Yaay! Selected.

    Correct? 😛

  3. Aravind Subramanian N said

    astounding! 🙂 carry on this good work 🙂

  4. athinthra said

    Paavam ur mom… I think this blog is solely created to varuthufy her.. 😛 😛

  5. Vijay said

    Awesome post! I loved how padi padiya the choice reduced 🙂

  6. S P Suresh said

    Very nice post!!

    For a long time I thought that if I ever proposed to a girl it would start with “Excuse me … neenga North Indians illaiye?” “non-Brahmins illaiye?” etc. etc. “full Tamizh culture oda irukkara Telungu Iyer aa?” etc. before coming down to sutram and gothram and finally “Appadinna I love you!”

    Years have passed without anything ever happening, and soon I might be forced to do “Excuse me … neenga ladies aa?” “Appadinna I love you!” 😀

    You write well … keep regaling us!

  7. Naresh said

    i m tamil brahmin nd i meet all de yes in ur flow chart..u dont hav to die as a spinster…i m der for u…lol

  8. wisetongue19 said

    hahahaha this is just amazing!

  9. Yuppie said

    Sooper awesome!!! did this really happen or is it a figment of imagination ?

  10. What about a good government job? Say IAS?

  11. ashwin35007 said

    Intuitive post! 🙂 I loved the flowchart. Showcases what typically happens in Iyer households. The best part was ‘Meet parentsfor filter Kaapi and Sahasranaamam sessions’. Hilarious 🙂

  12. Anirudh said

    haha.this is actually quite true in my case.my mom keeps saying the same to me.just that the gender has changed.seriously good writing.

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